The morning of July 24 started out like few mornings before it. Bailee and I were headed to Fresno and Christina was flying to New Orleans. The plan was to be up at 4:45am so we could leave the house by 5:15 to get Christina to the airport by 6:00. The previous night was spent packing, doing laundry, loading the car and anything else you could think of to get ready for the next days trip. Bedtime came and went right on by with the adults finally retiring sometime after midnight. It's safe to say that neither Christina or I woke up to our alarm clocks. Instead I was awakened by, "Karl get up it's 5:15". Sparing you the details we quickly dressed and headed for the airport (good thing showers and loading the car was all done the night before). Christina arrived on time for her flight, Bailee and I said our goodbyes to her and then we headed out.
Our first stop was Wal Mart in Goodyear. If this 10 hour car ride was going to be successful I had to get Bailee a pair of headphones for the DVD player we borrowed for the trip. Wal Mart was a bit of a journey in and of itself. Bailee wanted the red $20 headphones but I was able to convince her that the $5 dollar silver ones were better. We paid the man and headed for the exit. Apparently I went the wrong way though because this Wal Mart had an arcade with a claw machine (the ones you can snatch stuff out of with the claw) and we walked right by it. Bailee knows Dad is pretty good with those so of course she persuaded me to give it a try. After only $2 dollars spent we walked away with a stuffed Gingerbread man. The one from the Shrek movies. Bailee then turned down Breakfast at McDonald's, so we headed back to the car. We were quickly settled in and ready to begin our journey. Official trip start time was 7:00 am.
Kids are great. Bailee had turned down breakfast but after only a few minutes in the car she decided she was hungry (so was dad). Our next stop was only a few miles down the road from Wal Mart at a Burger King for a very unhealthy breakfast. The food was passed out to the respective parties and we were once again on our way. We managed to make it to Quartzite by 9:00. This was a much needed stop. About a half hour earlier in the middle of nowhere I was told by the passenger in the back seat that she needed to go to the bathroom. I informed her there was nowhere to go and she would have to wait. She then informed me that if she couldn't wait we could just pull over and she would go by the car! Love it. The stop in Quartzite was uneventful except for the Dark Chocolate Reeses Cup Bailee picked out for a snack. I know, it's 9:30am and she's having a candy bar for a snack. Normally I wouldn't go for that but we were on vacation. About 15 minutes down the road after we left Quartzite I had a 4 year old passenger with a face full of chocolate. Napkins were dished out, chocolate was cleaned up and Daddy and Daughter were well on their way to Grandma's house. This chocolate mess was around the same time that we crossed over in to California.
The next hour or so passed in relative silence. Bailee was watching a movie and I was grooving to my tunes. We managed to make it to the Palm Springs area around 10:30. I could tell my little one was getting sleepy so I encouraged her to rest her eyes for a bit. Not 15 minutes later she was out cold. This was good. If you ever have a kid on a long road trip and they fall asleep my recommendation is to drive. Just drive and drive and drive until the wake up. Don't stop for anything even the bathroom. I had 2 hours of silence. She fell asleep in Palm Springs and woke up right as we were pulling in to Kramer Junction. Kramer Junction is a tiny little truck stop where Highway 58 or 56 meets highway 395 just outside of Victorville. This was a welcomed stop. About an hour earlier I begin to have that "I have to pee" feeling. We stopped at Burger King (the only restaurant there) for a restroom break and possibly lunch. I should have taken the parking lot being overcrowded as a sign. We walked in to BK and the line to order was about 20 deep. I consulted Bailee on what we should do. Go to the bathroom and eat here or go to the bathroom, drive another 45 min to Tehachapi and eat there. Bailee liked the idea of driving to Tehachapi so we were back in the car and headed out. We left that BK around 12:45.
By the time we arrived in Tehachapi at 1:45 we had been on the road for about 7 hours with absolutely no complaints from Bailee. She was hungry, I was hungry and I could tell we both needed a break from the car. Thank God for McDonald's play areas. The one we stopped at had the biggest play area I have ever seen. Two giant slides with tunnels winding all through out the rafters above the eating area. Needless to say Bailee had a blast. We were both re energized and ready to push on through with the final 3 or so hours of our trip. We left Tehachapi at 2:30.
When you head out of Tehachapi and are headed to Bakersfield you have to go down the mountain. It is a really pretty part of the drive. We had already seen 3-4 trains during our trip. As we were coming down the mountain I noticed the train tunnels in the side of the mountain. I quickly got Bailees attention and explained what the tunnels were for and how they were made. Bailee loves trains so I thought this would be exciting for her to know. Nope! Apparently the Backyardigans had taken priority and she was pretty much uninterested in the knowledge that Dad was giving her. Bakersfield was in view and that meant only a couple more hours until Grandmas house.
We hooked up with highway 99 in Bakersfield and were ready for the home stretch. The 99 is the highway that runs up through Central California. Or what I call the arm pit of California. No disrespect intended. (There is a reason why I call it this.) I placed a call to Grandma to let her know where we were and that our anticipated arrival time would be around 5:00pm. About a half hour after that call I received a message from my passenger in the back. Someone needed another restroom break. I could tell she was starting to wear down and wanted to get to Grandmas as quickly as possible. With that said I stopped at the first exit I found with a gas station.
Here comes the part where I tell you why I call it the arm pit of California. We pulled in to the gas station and I warned Bailee that it was going to smell bad outside (I am lucky in that the smell doesn't bother me). Central California's secret from the outsiders is that it is lined with dairy farms. That means thousands possibly millions of cattle reside there. We are not talking about grazing cattle either. These cows are kept in large pens without a grazing option. Think about cows for a minute. Multiple stomachs, chewing their cud for digestion purposes and then pretty much living in whatever comes out the other end!
As we stepped out of the car Bailee was taken back by the smell. I have to admit that it was worse than I had ever experienced. So much worse that I actually checked the bottom of both my shoes to ensure I had not stepped in any crap over the past 8 or 9 hours while driving the car!!! We were at a Texaco that I'm sure was not keeping itself up to sanitary code. The bathroom was outside and the barely alive dog sitting outside should have been my 3rd or 4th sign that this was not a good place to stop. The 1st sign was me checking my shoes for crap almost immediately after getting out of the car. We entered the bathroom and there were flies everywhere. Quick U-turn, faster walk, and we were back in the car looking for another place to stop.
We eventually found a nice Shell gas station that was clean with restrooms inside. We grabbed one last snack, relieved ourselves and got back on the road. Needless to say our arrival time of 5:00pm was now in jeopardy. I was pointing out the dairy farms to Bailee and telling her how they made milk. This led to Bailee asking me if mommies had utters on their boobies like cows. Then we talked about silos and what they do. She was very interested in both of these. I think that's because she was at the point where she would do anything to keep herself entertained while we finished the trip.
About 30 minutes outside of Grandmas I saw two cars with personalized plates. One a Mercedes with a Colorado plate that read "1FITMOM". I gave her a thumbs up as I passed by her. The next was a white Scion with a Nevada plate that read "GRUVGIRL". It wasn't so much the personalized plates that intrigued me but that I saw 2 out of states plates only 30 minutes or so away from Grandmas. It also reminded me of the coolest personalized plate I have ever seen. Only a couple of weeks prior to the trip I was driving home from work when a blond ponytail in a convertible Mustang passed by me. The license plate read "IMDORKY". Best plate ever. If "IMADORK" is still available in Arizona I am going to snatch it up.
During all of this Bailee was showing signs of being done with the car. I turned to Miley Cyrus and the HoeDown ThrowDown. This is a line dance song. It's actually pretty catchy. There are parts in the song that say do the hoedown three times in a row with a brief pause in between. During those pauses Bailee would yell at the top of her lungs HOEDOWN and I would act scared. This made her quite happy. It got to the point that she was laughing so hard at my reactions she couldn't say HOEDOWN. The song is only a few minutes long and this lasted for about 20 minutes until I finally had to cut it off because there were a lot of cops and daddy had to concentrate on the road!!! At least that's what I told her.
We were finally only a few minutes from Grandmas house and Bailee had been playing quietly since our HoeDown ThrowDown escapade. Wouldn't you know it. I missed the exit. I was jotting down a quick thought about our trip and blew right by it. This did not make Bailee to happy. Luckily Grandma is the last exit before the freeway ends so we went a short distance down the road and made a U-turn. We were in Grandmas neighborhood. One more wrong turn (a right when it should have been a left) and we were at Grandmas. We had made it. Arrival time 5:45. A week of fun was awaiting us and we were both looking forward to it.
